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If anyone wonder why i'm sudently less active than before, its because a lot of things have been going on here.
And i need to adress this before anyone thinks i'm caring less for you.
You see, this year i turned 17. I'll be finishing up School by the end of this year and i have been having conversations with my parents about what i will do after i'm done with School. Job chances are growing more and more thin as many factories and industries have to fire their employes due to inflation. So we both reached the result that trying to get a job on these types of things will not only be harder, but will probably lead to me not being employed. So there's only one logic option: The Army.
The Navy, to be more precise. The Army doesn't *fire* their soldiers and is, let me adress it, the only thing i'm proud to have in my country. So i have been studying my arse off to enter the army, which explains not only my reduced time but also my reduced uploads (which went from 3 a day to barely 2).
I'm REALLY nervous about it and BEYOND stressed. Even though they keep saying it, i still feel like the decision of year end will decide my life. If i can't qualify by the year's end, i WILL have to join the army next year as a recruit, a.k.a the lowest class of soldiers, and have to work my way up. That is both insanely difficult and insanely stressful too.
Not only that, but joining the army as the 2nd method will likely mean that i'll be away either for months or a FULL YEAR unless i can buy a computer with my salary early on.
This is, however, expectations. I have no idea how the army is and i know no one who has been or is there currently. The good things is that i'll be recieving my own payment each month, as well as my uniform and the right to have a gun. Not only that, but joining the Navy means that i will be able to travel around the world, increasing the chances that i might be able to meet my gf.
But hey! we're still in July and time flows slowy! Just thought i could explain why i'm less active!
And i need to adress this before anyone thinks i'm caring less for you.
You see, this year i turned 17. I'll be finishing up School by the end of this year and i have been having conversations with my parents about what i will do after i'm done with School. Job chances are growing more and more thin as many factories and industries have to fire their employes due to inflation. So we both reached the result that trying to get a job on these types of things will not only be harder, but will probably lead to me not being employed. So there's only one logic option: The Army.
The Navy, to be more precise. The Army doesn't *fire* their soldiers and is, let me adress it, the only thing i'm proud to have in my country. So i have been studying my arse off to enter the army, which explains not only my reduced time but also my reduced uploads (which went from 3 a day to barely 2).
I'm REALLY nervous about it and BEYOND stressed. Even though they keep saying it, i still feel like the decision of year end will decide my life. If i can't qualify by the year's end, i WILL have to join the army next year as a recruit, a.k.a the lowest class of soldiers, and have to work my way up. That is both insanely difficult and insanely stressful too.
Not only that, but joining the army as the 2nd method will likely mean that i'll be away either for months or a FULL YEAR unless i can buy a computer with my salary early on.
This is, however, expectations. I have no idea how the army is and i know no one who has been or is there currently. The good things is that i'll be recieving my own payment each month, as well as my uniform and the right to have a gun. Not only that, but joining the Navy means that i will be able to travel around the world, increasing the chances that i might be able to meet my gf.
But hey! we're still in July and time flows slowy! Just thought i could explain why i'm less active!
Hating everything you make: Another vent
Literally what the title is. It's a vent. Feel free to ignore this, I'll be fine by tomorrow or something. It's tough, you know. It's difficult to even put this feeling into the proper words, but it feels awful. You're working on something, and you've put hours on it and it just looks awful, hot garbage, downright mental torture to even look at. You can't even put into words WHAT about it is bothering you, but there's just something about whatever you're drawing/modelling/etc that makes you frustrated to even look at it. It's me lately. There's always something bothering me, always something that I hate about it. And that, combined with the feeling of looking at something and going "well, you wasted your time on this that could've been better spent doing something better" doesn't make it easier. Everyone around you improves 10x faster, everyone around you learns things 10x faster, meanwhile you feel like you've finally hit your max and that you're not getting any better after years.
New Year, New hopes...?
So, 2024. I confess, I've had increasingly smaller and smaller hopes, aspirations and plans for each new year. Let's just say that the period that, since 2018, each year has been increasingly horrible, but the nightmarish period that was 2020 to 2023, and the stress, the horrible experiences, feelings, surgeries and inner turmoils that happened during those 3 specific years...let's just say that they broke me, and I haven't been able to glue the pieces together again. So with 2024, I have zero hopes, positivity or good feelings for the new year, specially with Japan already going through a gigantic earthquake and tsunami. But i suppose that's not ALL disasters, at least with me? Christmas was alright, and so was a birthday celebrated yesterday. And something finally DID happen! At the last days of 2023, I landed myself an actual JOB as an AutoCAD sketcher!.........Yeah, ironically, I went to college for 4 years, studying a wide variety of programs, skills and graduated just last
Rising from the dead again
Wow umm The last time I uploaded a journal update was over 3 years ago. Certainly explains all the spider webs stuck to the place here....I wonder how many of you are still following me or have become skeletons by now... Guessing I owe some explanations? Firstly, no I'm not dead! (Which you'd know if you follow the fact that i'm still uploading stuff!) I swear I feel that i start all my last journal entries with saying that i'm not dead...But you're probably wondering: "But Battles! If you're not dead, why have I never seen any of your posts? Are you just a robot uploading stuff and then disappearing??" Well, to that I say: the explanation is quite simple, for i'm just not a journal person. A ton has been happening in the background, but I just...don't find it worth sharing in journal entries, or that nobody will wanna hear my thoughts. Yes, the reason for my silence is as simple as that. But since I'm sharing my thoughts now, let's get down to business, starting with content.
Battles, Where the fuck are you now?
So.....I have been silent. No status updates, comments, faves, barely even an upload of pictures! I guess i might as well go for the news.
-No, i'm not dead. At least last i checked. I've just been very busy, mostly with college stuff and also with figuring out what the fuck is gonna be happening with my life in the future. I'll be 22 in a month, and everytime I have a birthday, I can't help but realize "God, i'm such an old man.", and i need to get some sort of income before college is done OR before i become 24, cuz i'll loose my health plan and will need to start paying it myself. Complicated Bureaucracy that none of you either care or ne
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